


ever-changing

by TheQueenInTheNorth



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 16:03:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19154347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheQueenInTheNorth/pseuds/TheQueenInTheNorth
Summary: Freshly returned from exile, Sinara and Kasius must adjust to life in the capital, and all changes that come with it.





	ever-changing

Kasius had spent years at the Lighthouse lamenting about the lacking comforts of exile, about the food and fashions of the capitol he missed. He had only very briefly mentioned the sprawling gardens of Hala, and Sinara couldn’t understand how they had not come up more often or at least in more detail.

It was the most breathtaking thing she had ever seen, trees and flowers and shrubs, the vineyards in the distance, little critters she only vaguely knew even existed roaming freely.

And Kasius had quite the interest in botany, yet had hardly spared a handful of sentences for this stunning expanse of plant life right in front of his own ancestral home.

Perhaps it was less impressive than she thought; a childhood spent in the slums just outside the mines of Nux followed by joining the Imperial Forces and going wherever that took her had not lead to her seeing much of the vegetation she’d rationally realised had to exist somewhere, with the food deliveries arriving regularly.

Actually being faced with it all was something else entirely.

Sitting on the terrace overlooking the grounds, Sinara’s tea cooled in her hands, completely forgotten in favour of the view.

“You’re not too cold, are you?”Kasius asked, startling Sinara back to attention.

He’d been uncharacteristically quiet until that moment; she hadn’t realised it in her fascination with the landscape.

Perhaps he was unsatisfied with the understated welcome he’d received on their return, not truly fit for the newly made heir. Perhaps he was already busy scheming.

Whatever it was, pressing him on it would do no good, so she just opted to answer his question rather than asking her own.

She lifted an arm to rather unnecessarily remind him of the loose-knit sweater he’d gotten for her.“I’m fine.”

She would have been fine without the sweater, too, but he’d been so excited about getting to buy new clothes for the both of them that she hadn’t found herself able to refuse. Not even when she’d realised they now sported matching outfits, apart from the fact she’d opted for a tank top rather than a long-sleeve for under the sweater.

“Alright, then, if you’re sure?” Kasius was frowning at her, clearly not convinced.“Is there something else? You seem distracted.”

“I guess I am,”she said, setting aside her untouched tea, letting her eyes drift across the grounds once more before turning to Kasius properly.“I’ve never seen this many plants at once before. Or ever, really.”

“The gardens are a bit of a spectacle,”Kasius agreed. Something passed across his face as he said it, gone too quick for Sinara to be sure what it was. His following smile looked decidedly forced.

She brushed her fingers against his, a wordless question, but he didn’t say any more. He did not pull away, at least, and his smile softened into a much more natural one.

“I’d like to take a look around,”she said after a moment of silence.

There was a renewed edge to his smile as he nodded.“Yes, of course. The day after the feast, perhaps? We will have ample time then.”

Sinara almost suggested she could just go without him, if he was so disinclined to give her the grand tour he had promised for almost every other part of the castle, but he beat her to speaking,“There’s a strange beauty to autumn, isn’t there? Everything dying around us and we marvel at the sight of it.”

Sinara gave a non-committal hum in reply at the strange swing into melancholy. The reds and oranges did not strike her as overly reminiscent of death, personally.

“Nothing ever lasts,”Kasius muttered, more to himself than Sinara, as far as she could tell.

She had not even the hint of a reply to that. Instead, she got to her feet.“Do you want a blanket? It is kind of chilly.”

She headed inside before he could answer, her heart in her throat. Nothing ever lasts? What was that about? Or more accurately, was it about what she thought it was?

They hadn’t been back from exile for even two full days and already she got the feeling that he’d rather be rid of her, now that he had options again. He’d made one too many offhand comments about the possibility of her being granted a title for her to not consider it what it probably was: One last incentive to make sure she kept her mouth shut when he relieved her of her duty, so he could marry into whatever faction it might be that wouldn’t give up their daughter as long as he had the bad grace to keep his mistress as his personal guard.

She stopped in the middle of the room, face in hands, forcing the sting of tears back down, wondering at what point exile had corroded her brain enough to allow herself to actually let her walls down, to fall for a prince, of all things.

She almost jumped out of her skin when Kasius’ hand touched her shoulder.

“Sinara?” His voice was soft, worry evident.“Are you certain you’re alright?”

She nodded without turning to face him.

He stepped closer, gently tugging her towards him, and she sank into his arms like the fool she was. She could enjoy it while it still lasted, she reasoned.

“We can go see the gardens now, if it’s so important to you,”he said and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“Alright,”she said, because she could hardly tell him that she wasn’t upset about the stupid gardens. Though he knew that, of course. Kasius was annoying like that, always reading her far too easily, giving her room as if she were an animal likely to get spooked if he approached too fast.

He released her, dropping another kiss onto her forehead.“I’ll grab our jackets.”

She accepted that without protest. She’d saddled herself with the jacket by claiming she found the mild evening air too chilly.

Sinara let him help her into her jacket with only mild eye rolling, and accepted his proffered arm as they made their way into the gardens.

His hand was resting on hers in the crook of his arm; she was almost able to forget his cryptic ramblings until he suddenly started up again without prompting,“I was rather fond of autumn as a child. The ever-changing nature of the universe was not so daunting, then.”

He smiled at her sadly, then added,“The left path, I think. You’ll like noosbry trees. Though not the taste, I dare say.”

She didn’t question that; her excitement with the strange plant life all around them had waned in the face of his clear emotional upheaval. It was as like as not that he’d chosen this walk to break the news of her dismissal to her.

“I only ever used to visit the gardens with Mother,”Kasius said, and Sinara relaxed a little.

He did not like speaking of his late mother, a wound never allowed to fully heal under his father’s refusal to let something as weak as grieving happen. That explained his state. Perhaps she would remain at his side a little longer, after all.

“We used to to pick whatever we fancied and then have a picnic under the old tree by the lake,”he said.“Father had it cut down, I think, after she’d died. He didn’t dare get rid off it while she was alive but he always said it was an eyesore.”

He stopped walking just long enough to tear a branch from a bush, offering it to Sinara as they continued down the path.“Thon berries. Have you ever had any?”

She shook her head, picking one of them from among the deep red leaves. The berries themselves were a blue so dark it was very nearly black. She popped it into her mouth, pulling a face at the sweetness where she had expected it to be sour by the look of it.

“They make a delightful liquor,”Kasius said.

“Maybe I’ll try it some time,”Sinara returned, though she doubted whether she would like it.

“It’s far less sweet,”Kasius said.

She gave him a small smile; he really was far too adept at knowing what she was thinking. He smiled back at her, eyes warm but still a little sad.“Perhaps we can toast your ennoblement. Another change.”

She didn’t reply for a few seconds that seemed to stretch on for years, her tongue darting out to wet her lips. She had her free hand balled into a fist to keep herself from digging her fingers into Kasius’ arm, as if that would somehow hold on to their relationship, far too inappropriate to continue back from exile.

Eventually she settled on,“I’m not very fond of change.”

The tension faded from him as if she’d spoken some magic word, his eyes bright and his smile brighter. He squeezed her hand gently.“It’s just a title, dear. It need not change anything else.”

Sinara nodded, not trusting herself to speak, realisation dawning on her but not yet making sense entirely. He’d been afraid  _ she _ would set  _ him _ aside, now that she was no longer cast from royal grace, now that she had options. Her chest felt tight at that; he had never been just an option, and certainly not one to somehow advance her status. She’d never stopped to consider he might be as unsure as her just how much of their arrangement was born out of necessity, not until she saw him suddenly so relieved.

It was somehow both comforting and heart wrenching, but she decided to focus on the former, a fresh spring in her step as they continued their stroll.

“I broke my ankle falling from that tree,”Kasius told her at one point, reaching out to plug a fruit from it. It was green and almost perfectly round. He offered it to her as he had with the thon berries.“Careful, it is a little spicy.”

She twisted it open; the flesh inside a familiar yellow that crumbled under her finger.“That’s how rastanies grow?”

“You’ve had them before?”

“From cans,”Sinara amended. She dug a bit of flesh out and tried it, then proceeded to dig out more.“They’re better fresh.”

“Some things aren’t meant to last,”Kasius said. He didn’t make it sound gloomy like all his other musings, instead leaning in to peck her cheek.“And others are.”

She rolled her eyes and dropped her head against his shoulder. It had, of course, absolutely nothing to do with the colour rising in her cheeks.

 

Kasius’ sombre mood returned for a moment when they reached the lake to find that the tree his mother had loved so dearly had indeed been cut down.

“She adored that thing,”he said with a sigh.

Sinara gave a soft hum in response, shifting closer to him.

She was rewarded with a renewed smile. Then he stepped away to  the flowers near the stump.“She always adored roses, too.”

He crouched down to survey them, finally finding one that passed whatever criteria he had apparently set and snapping them stem.

“They are ever so lovely but it is a fleeting beauty.” He walked back over to Sinara, offering the flower to her.“Not like you. You’re constant.”

Sinara looked at the flower and back to Kasius, then back to the flower again.

He’d went on about Terran flower language enough that she knew the red petals meant to convey exactly one thing: love.

She covertly wiped her sweating palms on her trousers. Going from wondering how disposable she was to love confessions in under twenty minutes was overwhelming. But she could hardly just stand there and not accept the rose. Then he’d think she didn’t feel the same way, and just because she didn’t want to say it didn’t mean she wanted to deny it either. And it seemed those were her only two choices.

Unless…

She could pretend to misunderstand why he was handing her the flower. Everything else he’d handed her had been meant for her to eat, after all.

Sinara took the flower and slowly raised it upwards. She changed her mind at the last second, Kasius looking at her far too enamoured to go through with it. The emotional fool had rubbed off on her, it seemed.

So she smelled the flower instead, trying desperately to come up with something to say.

“You’re constant, too,”she said, and then kissed him so he wouldn’t go and actually blurt out the words. He’d just have to wait to say them; she wasn’t going anywhere, anyway.

The kiss was slow and soft and sweet, as if they had all the time in the world. As if they could keep kissing forever.

Sinara wanted to mock herself for the sappy route her thoughts had taken but somehow found herself unable to do anything but smile when they broke apart again.

Kasius cupped her cheek, thumb gently stroking across her skin, like she was as delicate as the flower still in her hand.“I do like autumn, but I really prefer everlasting to ever-changing.”

They both knew what he really meant by that but Sinara was glad he hadn’t said it. When he eventually said  _ I love you, _ she wanted to be able to return the words. Feeling it was much easier than admitting it out loud.

“Me too,”she said, and he knew what that really meant, too.


End file.
